Hey folks, what's happening?
For the record, I really dislike white people who fetishize old school hip-hop. It really weirds me out when people who don't know who the Clipse are ejaculate all over old Run DMC songs and talk about how "they don't make it like that anymore." I don't like vital music genres being reduced to museum pieces, and I really don't like the idea that hip-hop is only good when viewed through the safe lens of nostalgia.
That said, I'm going to be everything I hate for the duration of this post.
For the record, I love a lot of modern Canadian hip-hop. Cadence Weapon may be one of my favourite rappers period right now, More or Les is a friend of mine, Mayhem Moriarty is one of the best lyricists running and Point Blank kind of frighten me, if we're being totally upfront.
The problem is that it's fucking near impossible to hear Canadian hip-hop any more. I don't watch as much MuchMusic as I used to, but when I do, I never see a Canadian hip-hop videos. Radio may be worse. Back when I owned a car, I used to bump Flow pretty regularly while riding in my Topaz. The only Canadian MCs who got any play were fucking Belly and Rochester, and they didn't even get that much. Sadly, it seems as if the Golden Age of Canadian Hip-Hop ended around the same time as the Golden Age of Hip-Hop as a whole.
Back in the early '90s, it seemed like there was half dozen Canadian rap videos in regular rotation on Much at any given time. Not only were the biggies like Maestro, Dream Warriors and Michie Mee getting tons of play, but acts like Ground Control, MRF, Devon, Kish and HDV (now known to Americans as Jacky Jasper) were all over the place, all putting out quality shit.
So what we're going to do here is have two great Canadian rap acts of the early '90s go head-to-head for the right to represent this fine country.
In the blue corner, from Scarborough, Ontario, with an embarrassing career move of "Certs Wid Out Da Retsyn" and a comeback factor of Metropia, Instant Star and a video with Gowan, MAESTRO FRESH WES!
The great thing about being Scarberian is that everyone has a story about knowing one or more of Maestro, Mike Myers, FeFe Dobson, Jamaal Magloire, The Barenaked Ladies, Monika Schnarre, Mike Ricci or Choclair. We're all connected in the almighty East End.
There's really no need for me to paraphrase a Wikipedia bio on this guy. You either know him or you don't. He's Asiatic and he's got the power, from Birchmount, just north of Glendower. As someone whose lame and Caucasian, but from Birchmount, just south of Glendower, I've always felt a real kinship with Maestro. As a result, I'm really happy to see him in the media again, even if it is on crappy Canadian TV shows. I was really worried about him for a while, because if we're being totally honest, there was a period in the mid '90s where he was releasing some real crap.
I was really torn up over which Maestro video to throw into the competition. Obviously "Let Your Backbone Slide" was the biggest hit, but I kind of always thought "Drop the Needle" was a tougher sounding song, plus it samples some '80s CanRock band called Haywire, so it has a little more CanCred. If I'm being really honest, though, my favourite Maestro jam has always been "Conductin' Thangs."
Here's the reasons this video is dope:
1) More punchlines per minute than any other song of it's era.
2) The awesome prohibition-era nightclub motif.
3) Whatever it is Maestro's doing in front of the CN Tower.
4) The tight little ska-sample backbeat.
In the red corner, from Jane and Finch, with a bad career move of everything after the first album and a comeback album of Spek's solo career, The DREE-AM WARRIORS!
If you don't know anything about the Warriors, they were formed in 1988 by King Lou and Capital Q. They played sort of weird, arty, jazz-and-reggae inspired hip-hop and used a lot of slant rhymes in their lyrics. Their first album And the Legacy Begins was actually bigger in the U.K. than they were at home, but pretty well failed to get over at all in the U.S. They had three hits, the most famous of which was "My Definition of a Boombastic Jazz Style," which had an awesome video and an even better sample of a Quincy Jones song.
Their second album, Subliminal Simulation, dropped in 1994 featured a new MC named Spek and had a single called "Day In Day Out," which was about 1/100th as cool as anything on the first album. Even at age 13, I was hugely underwhelmed. I basically blamed Spek for fucking up Canada's greatest rap group, and when their third album was crap to, I felt justified. Ironically, Spek was the only Dream Warrior to go on to have a solo career.
Unfortunately, YouTube doesn't seem to have the awesome first video for "My Definition," they only have the crappy American one they released when the Warriors signed to 4th and BWay in the States. That's almost criminal, because the first video was so good it was offensive and the 4th and BWay video eats dicks.
As a runner up, I'm putting the video for "Wash Your Face In My Sink" in to rep the Dream Warriors. It's a pretty strong video. I particularly enjoy the 12-sided die and fact that, unlike rap videos of the era, the Sucker MC in this video is very clearly labeled.
You know what to do.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Sunday, March 30, 2008
A Hard Fought Victory Over Vowels. Congrats MSTRKRFT.
OK kids, we have a winner.
After an extra day of voting and much animated discussion, MSTRKRFT takes the the title, winning 5 - 3.
I have to say, I was pretty impressed with everybody's comments on this one. It's nice to see that smut with little redeeming social value can provoke thoughtful conversation.
MSTRKRFT's victory video is "Street Justice." I really like this video for a number of reasons. One, it has a guest appearance by the Trackdirtyaz, who I like a lot. Two, it's modeled after dance party TV shows. I love dance party TV shows. Electric Circus may still be one of my favourite shows of all time, with Soul Train on WGN a close second. Three, one of the girls in this video looks a little like Jennifer Beals in Flashdance. I love Flashdance.
After an extra day of voting and much animated discussion, MSTRKRFT takes the the title, winning 5 - 3.
I have to say, I was pretty impressed with everybody's comments on this one. It's nice to see that smut with little redeeming social value can provoke thoughtful conversation.
MSTRKRFT's victory video is "Street Justice." I really like this video for a number of reasons. One, it has a guest appearance by the Trackdirtyaz, who I like a lot. Two, it's modeled after dance party TV shows. I love dance party TV shows. Electric Circus may still be one of my favourite shows of all time, with Soul Train on WGN a close second. Three, one of the girls in this video looks a little like Jennifer Beals in Flashdance. I love Flashdance.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Dirty, Smutty Hipster Disco: MSTRKRFT vs. Simian Mobile Disco
What's really good?
OK, so it's no secret I spent more than two years wasting my talent slinging porn at a Wal-Mart sized sex store, the name of which rhymes with "induction."
In addition to the promised slightly-more-than minimum wage, this job offered me a few decent perks before it caused my soul to implode.
They included the following:
1) Discounted porn.
2) Free (read, stolen) porn.
3) Long, uninterrupted stretches of time to read, write, eat and stare at the walls.
4) An excuse to start reading Fleshbot on a regular basis. (By the way, it's not like I'm making news here, but Fleshbot may be the absolute best thing on the web. If you're not a regular reader you've been napping for like half a decade.)
5) An ability to differentiate high quality smut from middling smut.
It's the last two that are really important here.
There was a period of time in 2006 where Fleshbot was regularly posting music videos that would not make the rotation on MuchMusic or MTV. It turns out that YouTube is a veritable treasure trove of musical smutitude. Now, as it turns out, a lot of it is crappy re-hashings of old David Lee Roth videos. But some of it is pretty awesome.
I decided to take two of those videos and pit them against each other in a battle to see whose filth is hotter.
A couple things about these videos. They have more in common than just nakedness. Both bands produce a sort of music that straddles the gap between straight up house and retro-'80s electro, a sound I've dubbed Hipster Disco, in part because it's accurate and in part because I've always wanted to invent a genre.
The Main Event
In the red corner, from Toronto, Ontario, with a pretension factor of no vowels, MSTRKRFT!
Pretty much everyone already knows the MSTRKRFT story. The group was started by Jesse Keeler from Death From Above 1979 and Toronto producer Al-P as an outlet for Keeler's housey, DFA-inappropriate musical urges. A year later, DFA was no more and MSTRKRFT was all Keeler had.
(Two asides: One, Al-P is in no way related to El-P or Al B. Sure, which sucks. Two, I am still not 100% over the death of Death From Above 1979.)
This video was one of the '06 Fleshbot classics, and with good reason. Not only is this song a fucking banger, the crew at Fleshbot wasn't lying when they called this bad boy Jules Jordan-esque. (Be aware that there be a porn link, kiddies. For those of you who don't know, Jules Jordan isn't just a pornographer. In my mind, he's THE pornographer. Really and truly, this man has provided countless hours of enjoyment for me.)
That said, this video isn't just pervy. It really doesn't make any sense, either. I dig that. There's no reason for a milkshake to fall from the sky. It just does.
And now the opposition.
In the blue corner, from Manchester, England, with a pretension factor of a long, goofy name and releasing shit on a French label, SIMIAN MO-bile DISCOOOO!
Where MSTRKRFT came as the result of a side project, Simian Mobile Disco rose phoenix like from the ashes of electro-rock act Simian.
Here's what I know about Simian. When I was working for an excellent little campus paper at a less-than-excellent university, I got a review copy of Simian's We Are Your Friends. I don't remember if I ever got around to writing the review, but I remember really liking the album. I think I may still have it. I should probably go look at some point.
After the band's 2005 break-up, half the guys from Simian started remixing songs for acts like Muse, The Go! Team and Air. In 2006 Kitsuné records released "Hustler" and the rest, as they say, is history.
As far as I can tell, and I won't front like I put extensive research into this blog, their are two "official" videos for "Hustler." Both of them are righteously dirty, but I picked this one because I think it contrasts with the MSTRKRFT joint a little better.
A few things I like about this video:
1) Girls kissing girls. It's cheesy, it's clichéd and to be totally honest with you, I don't really like all-girl porn that much, but in music videos it works. Hell, just ask Pittsburgh Slim.
2) The slow build. There's no action until two-thirds of the way through. Again, not so cool in porn, but it works in the smutty music video context.
3) The cheese-bag, '80s art school film vibe. I'm going to assume this was like a "meta" type reference to art school film, rather than actually thinking that's cool.
If the MSTRKRFT video is lay it all out early, cumshots 'til you explode, Jules Jordan-style joint, the Simian Mobile Disco video is more like an Eon McKai video. It's art you can jack off to, if you really, really need to jack off.
(Again, two asides. One, Cadence Weapon did an absolutely insane mash-up of "Hustler" and Rick Ross' "Hustlin'" called, not surprisingly, "Hustlin' Hustler." I suggest you all go find it when you're done here. Two, my former co-worker Marty once made an excellent observation on the work of Eon McKai. "It's a gritty portrayal of urban life, it's fucking awful .... Do you jerk off to Scorsese films?")
OK, so once again voting closes midnight Friday. Sorry to take away a day of democracy, but my trip to the hinterland through me off schedule. Won't happen again.
OK, so it's no secret I spent more than two years wasting my talent slinging porn at a Wal-Mart sized sex store, the name of which rhymes with "induction."
In addition to the promised slightly-more-than minimum wage, this job offered me a few decent perks before it caused my soul to implode.
They included the following:
1) Discounted porn.
2) Free (read, stolen) porn.
3) Long, uninterrupted stretches of time to read, write, eat and stare at the walls.
4) An excuse to start reading Fleshbot on a regular basis. (By the way, it's not like I'm making news here, but Fleshbot may be the absolute best thing on the web. If you're not a regular reader you've been napping for like half a decade.)
5) An ability to differentiate high quality smut from middling smut.
It's the last two that are really important here.
There was a period of time in 2006 where Fleshbot was regularly posting music videos that would not make the rotation on MuchMusic or MTV. It turns out that YouTube is a veritable treasure trove of musical smutitude. Now, as it turns out, a lot of it is crappy re-hashings of old David Lee Roth videos. But some of it is pretty awesome.
I decided to take two of those videos and pit them against each other in a battle to see whose filth is hotter.
A couple things about these videos. They have more in common than just nakedness. Both bands produce a sort of music that straddles the gap between straight up house and retro-'80s electro, a sound I've dubbed Hipster Disco, in part because it's accurate and in part because I've always wanted to invent a genre.
The Main Event
In the red corner, from Toronto, Ontario, with a pretension factor of no vowels, MSTRKRFT!
Pretty much everyone already knows the MSTRKRFT story. The group was started by Jesse Keeler from Death From Above 1979 and Toronto producer Al-P as an outlet for Keeler's housey, DFA-inappropriate musical urges. A year later, DFA was no more and MSTRKRFT was all Keeler had.
(Two asides: One, Al-P is in no way related to El-P or Al B. Sure, which sucks. Two, I am still not 100% over the death of Death From Above 1979.)
This video was one of the '06 Fleshbot classics, and with good reason. Not only is this song a fucking banger, the crew at Fleshbot wasn't lying when they called this bad boy Jules Jordan-esque. (Be aware that there be a porn link, kiddies. For those of you who don't know, Jules Jordan isn't just a pornographer. In my mind, he's THE pornographer. Really and truly, this man has provided countless hours of enjoyment for me.)
That said, this video isn't just pervy. It really doesn't make any sense, either. I dig that. There's no reason for a milkshake to fall from the sky. It just does.
And now the opposition.
In the blue corner, from Manchester, England, with a pretension factor of a long, goofy name and releasing shit on a French label, SIMIAN MO-bile DISCOOOO!
Where MSTRKRFT came as the result of a side project, Simian Mobile Disco rose phoenix like from the ashes of electro-rock act Simian.
Here's what I know about Simian. When I was working for an excellent little campus paper at a less-than-excellent university, I got a review copy of Simian's We Are Your Friends. I don't remember if I ever got around to writing the review, but I remember really liking the album. I think I may still have it. I should probably go look at some point.
After the band's 2005 break-up, half the guys from Simian started remixing songs for acts like Muse, The Go! Team and Air. In 2006 Kitsuné records released "Hustler" and the rest, as they say, is history.
As far as I can tell, and I won't front like I put extensive research into this blog, their are two "official" videos for "Hustler." Both of them are righteously dirty, but I picked this one because I think it contrasts with the MSTRKRFT joint a little better.
A few things I like about this video:
1) Girls kissing girls. It's cheesy, it's clichéd and to be totally honest with you, I don't really like all-girl porn that much, but in music videos it works. Hell, just ask Pittsburgh Slim.
2) The slow build. There's no action until two-thirds of the way through. Again, not so cool in porn, but it works in the smutty music video context.
3) The cheese-bag, '80s art school film vibe. I'm going to assume this was like a "meta" type reference to art school film, rather than actually thinking that's cool.
If the MSTRKRFT video is lay it all out early, cumshots 'til you explode, Jules Jordan-style joint, the Simian Mobile Disco video is more like an Eon McKai video. It's art you can jack off to, if you really, really need to jack off.
(Again, two asides. One, Cadence Weapon did an absolutely insane mash-up of "Hustler" and Rick Ross' "Hustlin'" called, not surprisingly, "Hustlin' Hustler." I suggest you all go find it when you're done here. Two, my former co-worker Marty once made an excellent observation on the work of Eon McKai. "It's a gritty portrayal of urban life, it's fucking awful .... Do you jerk off to Scorsese films?")
OK, so once again voting closes midnight Friday. Sorry to take away a day of democracy, but my trip to the hinterland through me off schedule. Won't happen again.
Hang Tight
What's up y'all?
Just got in from the 519 tonight. Expect a new post tomorrow evening-ish after I get back from the gym.
Just got in from the 519 tonight. Expect a new post tomorrow evening-ish after I get back from the gym.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Odelay Ese, ST Thrash Their Way Into the Winners Circle
What's up jerkbombs?
Sorry I was a little late with the postage over here, but wifey has forced me to spend time with her family in London. (The shitty 519 one, not the cool one in England.)
Apparently Black Flag's goofy-yet-preachy style annoyed the voting public, while Suicidal Tendencies are "just too gully" to ignore. Cyco Mike Muir and company took the voting 5 - 1, sending Big Hank, Greg and Robo home with their tails between their legs.
Here's "Possessed to Skate," ST's second "hit" video from their second full length Join the Army. Between the release of the self-titled disc and Join the Army, ST had already gone on hiatus, gotten back together, changed members and started to go metal. That said, the message behind the video (parents = bad, skateboards = good) remains unchanged. Way to stay consistent, guys.
The most common YouTube version of this video has Cyco Mike doing some sort of weird introduction ten-ish years after the fact. I have no idea what this is from, but I went with it because Muir is so barely with-it that it's fucking hilarious.
Sorry I was a little late with the postage over here, but wifey has forced me to spend time with her family in London. (The shitty 519 one, not the cool one in England.)
Apparently Black Flag's goofy-yet-preachy style annoyed the voting public, while Suicidal Tendencies are "just too gully" to ignore. Cyco Mike Muir and company took the voting 5 - 1, sending Big Hank, Greg and Robo home with their tails between their legs.
Here's "Possessed to Skate," ST's second "hit" video from their second full length Join the Army. Between the release of the self-titled disc and Join the Army, ST had already gone on hiatus, gotten back together, changed members and started to go metal. That said, the message behind the video (parents = bad, skateboards = good) remains unchanged. Way to stay consistent, guys.
The most common YouTube version of this video has Cyco Mike doing some sort of weird introduction ten-ish years after the fact. I have no idea what this is from, but I went with it because Muir is so barely with-it that it's fucking hilarious.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Early '80s Californian Hardcore Bands: Black Flag vs. Suicidal Tendancies
I was a pretty big punk rocker in my youth. Sure, I listened to enough hip-hop and went to enough raves that I can reasonably lay some claim to that shit, too, but ultimately punk rock is/was my true love.
The problem with punk rock is that it's pretty backwards looking genre. For a subculture that's all about rebellion and tearing down the system, punk spends a lot of time locked into it's own little system, looking at things that have already happened, getting all fucking precious over it's history.
As tough as it is to admit, when you're really into punk rock, you're really as much of a nostalgia freak as neo-hippies and those fucking rockabilly kids. (Although you're much better dressed.) You spend almost all your time listening to music that came out twenty or thirty years ago, and no one can blame you.
Sure, there are some great punk bands currently in operation (Career Suicide, Fucked Up, Cairo Foster) and there were some great punk bands back when I was really "in the scene" (The Swarm, Haymaker, H2O, Rancid) but ultimately, the old shit is better. It's ridiculous to feed a young man a steady diet of The Blitz, Bad Brains and TSOL and then expect him to shit his pants over The Distillers and Social Code.
This week I decided to pit two of my adolescent favourites against each other.
The Main Event
In the red corner, with a career total of 19 members, from Redondo Beach, California, BLAAA-CK FLAAAAG!
The Flag are pretty much the most bad-ass band ever. If you haven't read Get in the Van, Henry Rollins' tour diaries from his days with the Flag, you've lived an unfulfilled life.
For those of you who don't know, the Flag toured almost non-stop for most of a decade, released 20 recordings in 10 years, launched the musical career of a Virginian ice cream parlor employee named Hank Garfield (better known as Henry Rollins) and are credited with creating a hardcore scene everywhere they played. And yes, they went through members like a Denny's goes through eggs.
The Flag was created in 1976 by guitarist Greg Ginn and vocalist Keith Morris. Ginn wanted the band to practice for several hours a day, Morris wanted to do a metric shit-tonne of drugs. The relationship soon soured and Morris went on to form The Circle Jerks, who would act as the Bird to the Flag's Magic.
The band would have two more singers between Morris and Rollins; Ron Reyes, who quit the band after getting freaked out by the violence that followed the band, and Dez Cadena, who would shred his vocal chords and become the bands rhythm guitarist.
The band had their first full-length album, Damaged, shelved for almost two years after a nasty break-up with MCA records, which also forced the band to stop releasing records under the name "Black Flag" for a year. Instead, their albums featured the band's four bar logo.
This is the video for "TV Party" off Damaged. After this point, the band started the slow slide away from punk rock and towards being a sort of improvisational metal band. By the time they released 1985's The Process of Weeding Out, the short, tight sing-a-long anthems of Damaged had been replaced by nine-minute instrumental freak outs. As I've gotten older, I've grown to appreciate the Flag's metal output, but this is still my idea of the Flag at their best; goofy, smart and violently angry all at once.
By the way, the production values on this baby are hilariously low and awesome. The whole thing looks like it was filmed for about 50 bucks. That's punk rock.
OK, now their opponents.
In the (Sureño) blue corner, from Venice Beach, California, with a career total of 21 members, SUUU-ic-IDAL TENNNNNN-dancies.
There are a lot of similarities between ST and the Flag. Both bands came from So Cal beach towns. Both bands were viewed with suspicion in the scene. (In fact, ST was voted "Worst Band/Biggest Assholes in a 1983 Flipside Magazine poll.) Both had a reputation for incredibly violent shows, although at ST shows the violence was in the pit, where as violence at Flag shows was mostly between the band and the crowd. Both bands had one dominant founding member who either fired or drove off other band mates with a shocking regularity. And mos importantly, both bands finished their career as metal bands. But where Black Flag's metal was an arty sludge, Suicidal played straight up thrash. 1987's Join the Army was a DRI-style crossover thrash album, and 1988's major label debut How I Will Laugh Tomorrow When I Can't Even Smile Today was pretty much a Metallica album.
There are a few really cool things about ST. They were arguably the first real skatecore band. They made some very heavy records and, most importantly, they made it semi-cool for white skateboard kids to dress like cholos. When I was 17 or 18 I spent three months dressing like a cholo as sort of an ST tribute. Nobody got it.
How down ST actually were depends on who you ask. I think it's pretty safe to say that at least some of the "ST are gangbangers" paranoia was at least partially based in racism. Their heavily Latino membership undoubtedly freaked people out. On the other hand, the logo for the Sureño V13 set did pop up in some of their early releases.
This is the video for "Institutionalized" off of their self-titled debut album. You've probably already seen it, but you should watch it again. This is the video that made me love this band.
OK motherfuckers. Get your vote on.
The problem with punk rock is that it's pretty backwards looking genre. For a subculture that's all about rebellion and tearing down the system, punk spends a lot of time locked into it's own little system, looking at things that have already happened, getting all fucking precious over it's history.
As tough as it is to admit, when you're really into punk rock, you're really as much of a nostalgia freak as neo-hippies and those fucking rockabilly kids. (Although you're much better dressed.) You spend almost all your time listening to music that came out twenty or thirty years ago, and no one can blame you.
Sure, there are some great punk bands currently in operation (Career Suicide, Fucked Up, Cairo Foster) and there were some great punk bands back when I was really "in the scene" (The Swarm, Haymaker, H2O, Rancid) but ultimately, the old shit is better. It's ridiculous to feed a young man a steady diet of The Blitz, Bad Brains and TSOL and then expect him to shit his pants over The Distillers and Social Code.
This week I decided to pit two of my adolescent favourites against each other.
The Main Event
In the red corner, with a career total of 19 members, from Redondo Beach, California, BLAAA-CK FLAAAAG!
The Flag are pretty much the most bad-ass band ever. If you haven't read Get in the Van, Henry Rollins' tour diaries from his days with the Flag, you've lived an unfulfilled life.
For those of you who don't know, the Flag toured almost non-stop for most of a decade, released 20 recordings in 10 years, launched the musical career of a Virginian ice cream parlor employee named Hank Garfield (better known as Henry Rollins) and are credited with creating a hardcore scene everywhere they played. And yes, they went through members like a Denny's goes through eggs.
The Flag was created in 1976 by guitarist Greg Ginn and vocalist Keith Morris. Ginn wanted the band to practice for several hours a day, Morris wanted to do a metric shit-tonne of drugs. The relationship soon soured and Morris went on to form The Circle Jerks, who would act as the Bird to the Flag's Magic.
The band would have two more singers between Morris and Rollins; Ron Reyes, who quit the band after getting freaked out by the violence that followed the band, and Dez Cadena, who would shred his vocal chords and become the bands rhythm guitarist.
The band had their first full-length album, Damaged, shelved for almost two years after a nasty break-up with MCA records, which also forced the band to stop releasing records under the name "Black Flag" for a year. Instead, their albums featured the band's four bar logo.
This is the video for "TV Party" off Damaged. After this point, the band started the slow slide away from punk rock and towards being a sort of improvisational metal band. By the time they released 1985's The Process of Weeding Out, the short, tight sing-a-long anthems of Damaged had been replaced by nine-minute instrumental freak outs. As I've gotten older, I've grown to appreciate the Flag's metal output, but this is still my idea of the Flag at their best; goofy, smart and violently angry all at once.
By the way, the production values on this baby are hilariously low and awesome. The whole thing looks like it was filmed for about 50 bucks. That's punk rock.
OK, now their opponents.
In the (Sureño) blue corner, from Venice Beach, California, with a career total of 21 members, SUUU-ic-IDAL TENNNNNN-dancies.
There are a lot of similarities between ST and the Flag. Both bands came from So Cal beach towns. Both bands were viewed with suspicion in the scene. (In fact, ST was voted "Worst Band/Biggest Assholes in a 1983 Flipside Magazine poll.) Both had a reputation for incredibly violent shows, although at ST shows the violence was in the pit, where as violence at Flag shows was mostly between the band and the crowd. Both bands had one dominant founding member who either fired or drove off other band mates with a shocking regularity. And mos importantly, both bands finished their career as metal bands. But where Black Flag's metal was an arty sludge, Suicidal played straight up thrash. 1987's Join the Army was a DRI-style crossover thrash album, and 1988's major label debut How I Will Laugh Tomorrow When I Can't Even Smile Today was pretty much a Metallica album.
There are a few really cool things about ST. They were arguably the first real skatecore band. They made some very heavy records and, most importantly, they made it semi-cool for white skateboard kids to dress like cholos. When I was 17 or 18 I spent three months dressing like a cholo as sort of an ST tribute. Nobody got it.
How down ST actually were depends on who you ask. I think it's pretty safe to say that at least some of the "ST are gangbangers" paranoia was at least partially based in racism. Their heavily Latino membership undoubtedly freaked people out. On the other hand, the logo for the Sureño V13 set did pop up in some of their early releases.
This is the video for "Institutionalized" off of their self-titled debut album. You've probably already seen it, but you should watch it again. This is the video that made me love this band.
OK motherfuckers. Get your vote on.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Scandinavia Rules Supreme! Congratulations Robyn.
OK, we had seven voters this time.
That's almost double last weeks turnout, but is still pretty sad. Apparently people don't like music videos, or democracy.
Those of you who did bother to vote were unanimous in your decision. The final tally was Robyn seven, Rachel Stevens zero. Apparently Ms. Stevens is either not reformed enough for our voting public or Robyn's crazy Swedish sensibility was just too irresistible.
To congratulate Robyn, I'm going to put up the video for "Every Heartbeat," her fucking sick collabo with Kleerup. It's not nearly as weird and wacky as "Konichiwa Bitches," but it's just as impressive. The first time I saw this video I watched it four times back-to-back. This song is the jam. The video's not bad either. I really don't have anything bad to say about this song.
Good job Robyn, you've come a long way, baby. We're all very proud of you.
That's almost double last weeks turnout, but is still pretty sad. Apparently people don't like music videos, or democracy.
Those of you who did bother to vote were unanimous in your decision. The final tally was Robyn seven, Rachel Stevens zero. Apparently Ms. Stevens is either not reformed enough for our voting public or Robyn's crazy Swedish sensibility was just too irresistible.
To congratulate Robyn, I'm going to put up the video for "Every Heartbeat," her fucking sick collabo with Kleerup. It's not nearly as weird and wacky as "Konichiwa Bitches," but it's just as impressive. The first time I saw this video I watched it four times back-to-back. This song is the jam. The video's not bad either. I really don't have anything bad to say about this song.
Good job Robyn, you've come a long way, baby. We're all very proud of you.
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Battle of the (Sort of) Reformed Pop Tarts: Robyn vs. Rachel Stevens
Sixteen year-olds aren’t known for their judgement.
I’m not saying this to harsh on the young’uns, I’m just pointing out the obvious. I was 16 some time ago, and I did some dumb shit. So did most of my friends. Sixteen year-olds do things like dress up like goths, experiment with bisexuality and heroin, convert to Islam and go through weird flirtations with Neo-Nazism.
The nice thing about being 16 is you can do all this dumb shit, then basically write it off to youthful indiscretion. Nobody will hold your old Skrewdriver records or kufi against you in the long term. You were 16. You were “finding yourself.” It’s all good.
Imagine what the world would be like if you were branded by your adolescent idiocy for the rest of your life? That’s kind of what life’s like for pop stars. They make one stupid decision when they’re kids, cut one dumb, treacly single, and are branded as a cheesy teen-pop star for life. That’s why so many of them live out the rest of their lives in miserable obscurity. It’s better to walk around as a nobody than live out the rest of your life as Tevin Campbell or one of the guys from Another Bad Creation.
That’s why I’m always amazed when teen popsters manage to salvage any sort of grown up career, let alone a respectable one that’s based on nostalgia.
But wouldn’t it be interesting if we were to take two recovered '90s teenyboppers put them head-to-head to find out who’s done the best job of distancing themselves from their shameful past.
Yeah, let’s do that.
The Main Event
In the red corner, with a shame factor of “Show Me Love,” from Stockholm, Sweden, ROBYN!
Here’s the backgrounder on Robyn.
She was raised by weird experimental actors in Sweden, “discovered” at age 13 and spirited away to work with weird Swedish Sven Gali Max Martin, the man who would later be responsible for most of Britney Spears’ early output.
At 18, after experiencing some commercial success in Sweden, Robyn was unleashed on an unsuspecting world. Her single “Show Me Love” was an über-hit pretty much everywhere on the planet in the summer of 1997. I worked at a movie theatre in the summer of 1997 where I was forced to hear “Show Me Love” about a dozen times a shift. The song is still intrinsically linked in my brain with the smell of stale popcorn and harsh grease-cutting chemicals.
Later the same year, Robyn was booked as an opening act for the Backstreet Boys, but had to pull out due to “exhaustion.”
Unfortunately, it’s hard to take the child of two members of an experimental theatre troupe and force her to be the new Tiffany. Robyn eventually rebelled against her masters, first by writing ballads about abortion (hers), then by covering obscure ‘60s soul records, then eventually by making weird electro stuff where she sounds like a cross between a hyper-sexual Björk and Missy Elliot re-imagined as a tiny Nordic girl.
In 2005, the idiots at Jive Records eventually said “fuck this” and cut her loose. Since then, she’s been releasing shit on her own Konichiwa Records label. She only just got North American distribution, but she’s been doing a pretty good job of getting noticed in Europe, so we could see a full-fledged comeback before long.
I’m not going to front. I think post-2005 Robyn is the fucking balls. I don’t want to bias the electorate, but I like this girl a lot. So much so that I really had to debate which video I wanted to put up as an example of her more recent work. Eventually I chose “Konichiwa Bitches”, just because I think this song/video let’s your really know where this girl’s head’s at.
OK, now for the competition.
In the blue corner, with a shame factor of S Club Seven, from London, England, Raaaay-CHEL Steee-VENS.
OK, before we even get started on this one, let’s just go ahead and admit that Rachel Stevens is more poppy, more tarty and considerably less overall reformed than Robyn. She didn’t go from Swedish proto-Britney to some sort of weird acid casualty. Instead, she went from being one-seventh of the worst musical act in human history to maker of aggressively sexed-up dance tunes and future gay-scene icon.
For those of you in need of a history lesson, Rachel Stevens was a remember of S Club Seven, the worst musical group in human history. They were sort of a mixed-gender 1990s version of The Monkees. Except, where The Monkees made music that actually wasn’t that bad, S Club Seven made music that was so bad it has no Earthly purpose other than to torture terror suspects. . You can’t like it ironically, you can’t like it in spite of yourself, You can’t even put it on at a party and have girls giggle and dance with youthful nostalgia. You can only use it to hurt people.
Here’s a refresher.
After the cancellation of Viva S Club, the final S Club series, all of them dropped off the face of the Earth for a few years. In 2004, Rachel Stevens re-emerged as with “Some Girls,” a song so intense that the song alone, never mind the video, gave me a fairly serious erection. Rachel is hot. She’s kind of like Kylie Minogue multiplied by the power of Teagan Presley. She’s not doing anything deep and profound, but she makes ladies dance seductively whenever her shit is played. I appreciate that.
This is the video for "So Good" off the album Come and Get It, her second post-S Club outing. You know how all the Britney/Hillary/Lindsay types are going for this new "more grown-up" electro sound. This is what their shooting for. Now you can see how much they fail.
OK fools. All that's left is the voting process. You shouldn't need a Google account to post now, but if you do email me at cpdart@gmail.com and I'll try and figure it out.
UPDATE: It goes without saying that the deadline for voting is Friday at Midnight.
I’m not saying this to harsh on the young’uns, I’m just pointing out the obvious. I was 16 some time ago, and I did some dumb shit. So did most of my friends. Sixteen year-olds do things like dress up like goths, experiment with bisexuality and heroin, convert to Islam and go through weird flirtations with Neo-Nazism.
The nice thing about being 16 is you can do all this dumb shit, then basically write it off to youthful indiscretion. Nobody will hold your old Skrewdriver records or kufi against you in the long term. You were 16. You were “finding yourself.” It’s all good.
Imagine what the world would be like if you were branded by your adolescent idiocy for the rest of your life? That’s kind of what life’s like for pop stars. They make one stupid decision when they’re kids, cut one dumb, treacly single, and are branded as a cheesy teen-pop star for life. That’s why so many of them live out the rest of their lives in miserable obscurity. It’s better to walk around as a nobody than live out the rest of your life as Tevin Campbell or one of the guys from Another Bad Creation.
That’s why I’m always amazed when teen popsters manage to salvage any sort of grown up career, let alone a respectable one that’s based on nostalgia.
But wouldn’t it be interesting if we were to take two recovered '90s teenyboppers put them head-to-head to find out who’s done the best job of distancing themselves from their shameful past.
Yeah, let’s do that.
The Main Event
In the red corner, with a shame factor of “Show Me Love,” from Stockholm, Sweden, ROBYN!
Here’s the backgrounder on Robyn.
She was raised by weird experimental actors in Sweden, “discovered” at age 13 and spirited away to work with weird Swedish Sven Gali Max Martin, the man who would later be responsible for most of Britney Spears’ early output.
At 18, after experiencing some commercial success in Sweden, Robyn was unleashed on an unsuspecting world. Her single “Show Me Love” was an über-hit pretty much everywhere on the planet in the summer of 1997. I worked at a movie theatre in the summer of 1997 where I was forced to hear “Show Me Love” about a dozen times a shift. The song is still intrinsically linked in my brain with the smell of stale popcorn and harsh grease-cutting chemicals.
Later the same year, Robyn was booked as an opening act for the Backstreet Boys, but had to pull out due to “exhaustion.”
Unfortunately, it’s hard to take the child of two members of an experimental theatre troupe and force her to be the new Tiffany. Robyn eventually rebelled against her masters, first by writing ballads about abortion (hers), then by covering obscure ‘60s soul records, then eventually by making weird electro stuff where she sounds like a cross between a hyper-sexual Björk and Missy Elliot re-imagined as a tiny Nordic girl.
In 2005, the idiots at Jive Records eventually said “fuck this” and cut her loose. Since then, she’s been releasing shit on her own Konichiwa Records label. She only just got North American distribution, but she’s been doing a pretty good job of getting noticed in Europe, so we could see a full-fledged comeback before long.
I’m not going to front. I think post-2005 Robyn is the fucking balls. I don’t want to bias the electorate, but I like this girl a lot. So much so that I really had to debate which video I wanted to put up as an example of her more recent work. Eventually I chose “Konichiwa Bitches”, just because I think this song/video let’s your really know where this girl’s head’s at.
OK, now for the competition.
In the blue corner, with a shame factor of S Club Seven, from London, England, Raaaay-CHEL Steee-VENS.
OK, before we even get started on this one, let’s just go ahead and admit that Rachel Stevens is more poppy, more tarty and considerably less overall reformed than Robyn. She didn’t go from Swedish proto-Britney to some sort of weird acid casualty. Instead, she went from being one-seventh of the worst musical act in human history to maker of aggressively sexed-up dance tunes and future gay-scene icon.
For those of you in need of a history lesson, Rachel Stevens was a remember of S Club Seven, the worst musical group in human history. They were sort of a mixed-gender 1990s version of The Monkees. Except, where The Monkees made music that actually wasn’t that bad, S Club Seven made music that was so bad it has no Earthly purpose other than to torture terror suspects. . You can’t like it ironically, you can’t like it in spite of yourself, You can’t even put it on at a party and have girls giggle and dance with youthful nostalgia. You can only use it to hurt people.
Here’s a refresher.
After the cancellation of Viva S Club, the final S Club series, all of them dropped off the face of the Earth for a few years. In 2004, Rachel Stevens re-emerged as with “Some Girls,” a song so intense that the song alone, never mind the video, gave me a fairly serious erection. Rachel is hot. She’s kind of like Kylie Minogue multiplied by the power of Teagan Presley. She’s not doing anything deep and profound, but she makes ladies dance seductively whenever her shit is played. I appreciate that.
This is the video for "So Good" off the album Come and Get It, her second post-S Club outing. You know how all the Britney/Hillary/Lindsay types are going for this new "more grown-up" electro sound. This is what their shooting for. Now you can see how much they fail.
OK fools. All that's left is the voting process. You shouldn't need a Google account to post now, but if you do email me at cpdart@gmail.com and I'll try and figure it out.
UPDATE: It goes without saying that the deadline for voting is Friday at Midnight.
Saturday, March 8, 2008
We Have a Winner! Congratulations Noreaga!
OK, apparently you motherfuckers don’t respect the democratic process, since only four of you bothered to vote.
Sadly, we ended this week's polling in a two-two tie. After a tie-breaker (coin flip), Noreaga was crowned this week’s champion. If you have a problem with that, you should have fucking voted.
In celebration of Noreaga’s triumph, we’re going to put up another one of his video’s. This is “Mas Maiz” off of 2006 reggaeton album/orgy of guest artists N.O.R.E. y la Familia … Ya Tú Sabe. To give you an idea of how many guests artists are on this album, this joint alone features Big Mato, Nina Sky, La Negra, Fat Joe, Lumidee, Chingo Bling and Lil’ Rob. With that many guests, it’s a small miracle Noreaga gets on the cut at all.
A few more things about this song:
1) I want to have sex with Lumidee in the worst way.
2) Fat Joe’s Spanish is about as good as my French. His mother must be appalled.
3) Chingo Bling is a fucking genius.
Go get it.
Sadly, we ended this week's polling in a two-two tie. After a tie-breaker (coin flip), Noreaga was crowned this week’s champion. If you have a problem with that, you should have fucking voted.
In celebration of Noreaga’s triumph, we’re going to put up another one of his video’s. This is “Mas Maiz” off of 2006 reggaeton album/orgy of guest artists N.O.R.E. y la Familia … Ya Tú Sabe. To give you an idea of how many guests artists are on this album, this joint alone features Big Mato, Nina Sky, La Negra, Fat Joe, Lumidee, Chingo Bling and Lil’ Rob. With that many guests, it’s a small miracle Noreaga gets on the cut at all.
A few more things about this song:
1) I want to have sex with Lumidee in the worst way.
2) Fat Joe’s Spanish is about as good as my French. His mother must be appalled.
3) Chingo Bling is a fucking genius.
Go get it.
Saturday, March 1, 2008
The First Post - Talented but Underproductive Rappers: Del the Funky Homosapien vs. N.O.R.E.
Those of you who've known me for sometime will know I'm a) full of shit and b) have wicked ADD. As a result, there's a good chance that this bad boy will get abandoned along with various other blogs, podcasts, bands and publications I've been involved with before getting bored and moving on to some next shit. That said, this idea is pretty simple. Simple enough even I can stick with it. It's sort of like the Tank Abbot-era UFC for music videos. Two videos enter, one video leaves. Sadly, we don't have a cage, or Bruce Buffer. I'm working on it.
In lieu of weight classes, there will be categories randomly created by me. If this thing gathers steam, maybe they can be suggested by you.
(Yes, I know early UFC didn't have weight classes either, hence allowing us to see 600 pound sumo wrestlers get kicked in the grill by 175 pound savateurs. Fuck off.)
Our first battle will be in the Talented but Underproductive Rappers weight class.
In the blue corner, weighing in at 160 pounds soaking wet, from Oakland, California, with five solo albums released over the course of 17 years, DEL tha Funkyyyyyyy HO-MO-SAPIEN.
Now, to be strictly accurate, Del has been a little more productive than one album every three and a half years would indicate. He produced the Deltron 3030 album alongside Dan the Automator in late 2000, he's contributed to three, soon to be four, Hieroglyphics Crew albums along with fellow Hieros Casual, Pep Love and Souls of Mischief. He did some guest vocals on the Gorillaz first album and on both Handsome Boy Modelling School records. Apparently he was in an episode of MTV's Made, which I think is fucking hilarious.
All that said, with seven and a half years between his last album, Both Sides of the Brain, and the freshly hatched 11th Hour, I don't really give a shit how many guest joints he does. That shit's just lazy.
Anyway, here's "Workin' It." It's on the new album.
In the red corner, weighing in at well over 230 pounds, from Puerto Rico by way of Queens, New York, with four and a half solo albums in ten years NORRR-EEEEE!
For the record, I have an problem with N.O.R.E. I keep insisting on calling him Noreaga. Much like my dad keeps calling Kareem Abdul Jabbar Lew Alcindor. For one thing, Capone-N-N.O.R.E. sounds stupid. For another thing, the actual Noreaga, who spelled it Noriega, looked like a pineapple.
With an average output of a solo album every two and a half years, Noreaga's production doesn't seem that slack, but those numbers are a little inflated. First of all, it includes 1999's Melvyn Flynt - Da Hustler, which sucked and nobody bought. Second of all, it doesn't show that he did exactly nothing between 2002 and 2006, and 2006 only brought us his weird reggaeton album N.O.R.E. y la Familia ... Ya Tú Sabe, which only counts as half an album because a) it's reggaeton and b) has an almost mind blowing 27 guest artists, making it more of a mixtape than anything. On the upside, it did have "Mas Maiz," which is a fucking sick song.
Here's "Cocaine Cowboys" off last year's Noreality. This video was banned by MTV, natch, and then apparently by MySpace, which is sort of insane, considering MySpace has some pretty borderline shit. I can understand why, though. The video alone is enough to make you want to grind your teeth and have really self-centred conversations.
OK, so that's it. All that's left is the democratic process. Voting closes at midnight on Friday.
EDIT: Just so we're all clear, comment to vote.
In lieu of weight classes, there will be categories randomly created by me. If this thing gathers steam, maybe they can be suggested by you.
(Yes, I know early UFC didn't have weight classes either, hence allowing us to see 600 pound sumo wrestlers get kicked in the grill by 175 pound savateurs. Fuck off.)
Our first battle will be in the Talented but Underproductive Rappers weight class.
In the blue corner, weighing in at 160 pounds soaking wet, from Oakland, California, with five solo albums released over the course of 17 years, DEL tha Funkyyyyyyy HO-MO-SAPIEN.
Now, to be strictly accurate, Del has been a little more productive than one album every three and a half years would indicate. He produced the Deltron 3030 album alongside Dan the Automator in late 2000, he's contributed to three, soon to be four, Hieroglyphics Crew albums along with fellow Hieros Casual, Pep Love and Souls of Mischief. He did some guest vocals on the Gorillaz first album and on both Handsome Boy Modelling School records. Apparently he was in an episode of MTV's Made, which I think is fucking hilarious.
All that said, with seven and a half years between his last album, Both Sides of the Brain, and the freshly hatched 11th Hour, I don't really give a shit how many guest joints he does. That shit's just lazy.
Anyway, here's "Workin' It." It's on the new album.
In the red corner, weighing in at well over 230 pounds, from Puerto Rico by way of Queens, New York, with four and a half solo albums in ten years NORRR-EEEEE!
For the record, I have an problem with N.O.R.E. I keep insisting on calling him Noreaga. Much like my dad keeps calling Kareem Abdul Jabbar Lew Alcindor. For one thing, Capone-N-N.O.R.E. sounds stupid. For another thing, the actual Noreaga, who spelled it Noriega, looked like a pineapple.
With an average output of a solo album every two and a half years, Noreaga's production doesn't seem that slack, but those numbers are a little inflated. First of all, it includes 1999's Melvyn Flynt - Da Hustler, which sucked and nobody bought. Second of all, it doesn't show that he did exactly nothing between 2002 and 2006, and 2006 only brought us his weird reggaeton album N.O.R.E. y la Familia ... Ya Tú Sabe, which only counts as half an album because a) it's reggaeton and b) has an almost mind blowing 27 guest artists, making it more of a mixtape than anything. On the upside, it did have "Mas Maiz," which is a fucking sick song.
Here's "Cocaine Cowboys" off last year's Noreality. This video was banned by MTV, natch, and then apparently by MySpace, which is sort of insane, considering MySpace has some pretty borderline shit. I can understand why, though. The video alone is enough to make you want to grind your teeth and have really self-centred conversations.
OK, so that's it. All that's left is the democratic process. Voting closes at midnight on Friday.
EDIT: Just so we're all clear, comment to vote.
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