The First Post - Talented but Underproductive Rappers: Del the Funky Homosapien vs. N.O.R.E.

Those of you who've known me for sometime will know I'm a) full of shit and b) have wicked ADD. As a result, there's a good chance that this bad boy will get abandoned along with various other blogs, podcasts, bands and publications I've been involved with before getting bored and moving on to some next shit. That said, this idea is pretty simple. Simple enough even I can stick with it. It's sort of like the Tank Abbot-era UFC for music videos. Two videos enter, one video leaves. Sadly, we don't have a cage, or Bruce Buffer. I'm working on it.



In lieu of weight classes, there will be categories randomly created by me. If this thing gathers steam, maybe they can be suggested by you.

(Yes, I know early UFC didn't have weight classes either, hence allowing us to see 600 pound sumo wrestlers get kicked in the grill by 175 pound savateurs. Fuck off.)

Our first battle will be in the Talented but Underproductive Rappers weight class.

In the blue corner, weighing in at 160 pounds soaking wet, from Oakland, California, with five solo albums released over the course of 17 years, DEL tha Funkyyyyyyy HO-MO-SAPIEN.

Now, to be strictly accurate, Del has been a little more productive than one album every three and a half years would indicate. He produced the Deltron 3030 album alongside Dan the Automator in late 2000, he's contributed to three, soon to be four, Hieroglyphics Crew albums along with fellow Hieros Casual, Pep Love and Souls of Mischief. He did some guest vocals on the Gorillaz first album and on both Handsome Boy Modelling School records. Apparently he was in an episode of MTV's Made, which I think is fucking hilarious.

All that said, with seven and a half years between his last album, Both Sides of the Brain, and the freshly hatched 11th Hour, I don't really give a shit how many guest joints he does. That shit's just lazy.

Anyway, here's "Workin' It." It's on the new album.



In the red corner, weighing in at well over 230 pounds, from Puerto Rico by way of Queens, New York, with four and a half solo albums in ten years NORRR-EEEEE!

For the record, I have an problem with N.O.R.E. I keep insisting on calling him Noreaga. Much like my dad keeps calling Kareem Abdul Jabbar Lew Alcindor. For one thing, Capone-N-N.O.R.E. sounds stupid. For another thing, the actual Noreaga, who spelled it Noriega, looked like a pineapple.



With an average output of a solo album every two and a half years, Noreaga's production doesn't seem that slack, but those numbers are a little inflated. First of all, it includes 1999's Melvyn Flynt - Da Hustler, which sucked and nobody bought. Second of all, it doesn't show that he did exactly nothing between 2002 and 2006, and 2006 only brought us his weird reggaeton album N.O.R.E. y la Familia ... Ya Tú Sabe, which only counts as half an album because a) it's reggaeton and b) has an almost mind blowing 27 guest artists, making it more of a mixtape than anything. On the upside, it did have "Mas Maiz," which is a fucking sick song.

Here's "Cocaine Cowboys" off last year's Noreality. This video was banned by MTV, natch, and then apparently by MySpace, which is sort of insane, considering MySpace has some pretty borderline shit. I can understand why, though. The video alone is enough to make you want to grind your teeth and have really self-centred conversations.



OK, so that's it. All that's left is the democratic process. Voting closes at midnight on Friday.

EDIT: Just so we're all clear, comment to vote.