It is Both Sad and Entertaining When Friends Fight: Princess Superstar vs. Kool Keith

This post is brought to you by Big Love, the TTC strike and the Toronto Raptors, who broke my heart.

The title of this post may be a little inaccurate. I don't know if Kool Keith and Princess Superstar are actually friends. I don't know if Keith has ever helped Princess move, or if Princess has ever tried to set Keith up with a lady. I have no idea if they read each others blogs.

What I do know is that they're about as similar as a small white girl from suburban Philly and a tall black guy from the South Bronx can be. They're both degenerate sex perverts, they both have a tendency to jam either too many or too few words in a verse, the both like to use weird non-sequiturs, and they both don't get along well with major labels. Most importantly, when Princess and Keith do a track together, they kick wicked ass.

The question is, who would win if they went head to head?

The Main Event

In the blue corner, from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, the woman who said "I won't beat around the bush, so you can eat around mine," PRINCE-ess SUUU-PERRR-STARR.

Princess Superstar was born to a Russian-Jewish father and a Sicilian mother, who named her Concetta Kirshner to honour both halves of her heritage. I firmly believe that this may be the best real name of any rapper in history, with the possible exception of Obie Trice, who realized his name was so awesome that taking a stage name would be pointless. Both Concetta's parent's were psychologists, which might explain why she's so filthy.

Concetta started rapping and playing guitar as Princess Superstar in the early-'90s while attending NYU. In 1994, she put out a cassette EP called Mitch Better Get My Bunny. She sent copies of Mitch to the Beastie Boys and the folks at College Music Journal. In 1995 she released her first full-length album, Strictly Platinum. Strictly Platinum also produced Princess Superstar's first college radio hit, "I'm White."

After releasing almost an album throughout the back half of the '90s, Princess' production has trailed off considerably in recent years. Her last studio album, My Machine, came out in 2005, and the last one before that, Is, came out in 2001. That's not to say she's been slacking. She still performs live and has been doing a lot of work as a DJ, making mixed albums, playing gigs, and working as part of a duo called DJs Are Not Rockstars.

This is the video for "Bad Babysitter" off of Is. I like it for a number of reasons. One, I dig young girls, or 30-year-old women pretending to be young girls. Two, I like Mr. Eon, who guests on the song. He has the worst case of white rapper disease (great lyrics, no flow) ever, but he makes me laugh. Three, the whole thing feels like a weird In Living Colour sketch.


The Opposition

In the red corner, from The Bronx, New York, the man with more than two dozen alter-egos, KOOOOL KEITH!

Kool Keith first started rapping in the mid-'80s as a member of the Ultramagnetic MCs. As a group, Ultramagnetic was known for weird lyrical imagery and polysyllabic rhymes, but Keith took that to a whole new level with his boasts of having spent time in New York's Bellevue mental hospital. He allegedly was the first MC to come up with multiple aliases, although that sort of thing is hard to prove. He also provided the key sample for The Prodigy's "Smack My Bitch Up." When Ultramagnetic broke up in 1994, Kool Keith headed out to California and signed a deal with Capitol records. Sadly, Keith never released anything on Capitol. In 1996, he re-appeared with a new alter-ego, Dr. Octagon, and released what may be his best-known album, Dr. Octagonacologyst.

If any of you are curious as to how many alter-egos Kool Keith has, here's a complete list, along with the origins of each name, from KoolKeith.co.uk.

KEITH THORNTON – His real name.
KOOL KEITH – His rapper name.
KEITH TURBO – He used this alias for the "Keith Turbo" track from the Black Elvis/Lost In Space LP.
KEITH TELEVASQUEZ – He used this alias on Clifton with Motion Man on the Black Elvis/Lost In Space LP.
KEITH KORG – His Analog Brothers alias.
MATTHEW – Keith’s middle name and alias for a full LP.
DR. SPERM – Known to be his first alias as a rapper.
DR. OCTAGON – C’mon, you know this one.
DR. ULTRA – He was Dr. Ultra in the “Five Deadly Venoms” Sprite commercials.
DR. DOOOM – He created this character with sick rhymes and a goal of killing Dr. Octagon.
BLACK ELVIS – Dr. Dooom’s twin. Created for the Columbia Records album.
POPPA LARGE – He’s Poppa Large, big shot on the East Coast.
MR. GREEN – He used this alias on the back cover of Ultra’s Big Time LP.
MR. GERBIK – The dangerous 208 year old uncle of Dr. Octagon. Half Shark Alligator Half Man.
MR. ORANGE – This was one of his characters in the "Livin’ Astro" video.
MC BALDYLOCKS – Unknown right now.
THE FOURTH HORSEMAN – He considered himself The Fourth Horseman on the Ultramagnetic MC’s Four Horsemen LP.
BLONDE MAN – He referred to himself as Blonde Man in the liner notes of the Black Elvis/Lost In Space LP.
CLEAN MAN – This was an alias he used back when HipHopSite.com ran KoolKeith.com.
SHARK MAN – Another name for Mr. Gerbik.
ELEPHANT MAN – From 1996 to 1998 he always said he planned on releasing an album under the alias Elephant Man.
ALIEN MAN – This was an alias he used back when HipHopSite.com ran KoolKeith.com.
JIMMY STEELE – He referred to himself as Jimmy Steele in the liner notes of the Black Elvis/Lost In Space LP.
WILLIE BIGGS – He used this alias in the track "Still The Best" from the Sex Style LP. He also used it on the back cover of Ultra’s Big Time LP.
BIG WILLIE SMITH – He released a limited EP with the Beat Terrorists under this alias.
WILLIE NATURAL – This was an alias he used back when HipHopSite.com ran KoolKeith.com.
REVEREND TOM – He first used this alias on the track "Fat Lady" from Ultra’s Big Time LP and later used it on Thee Undatakerz LP.
MIKE STANLEY – He uses this alias in DJ Sooky's Riddim Warfare LP.
LARRY LOPEZ – He used this name with Heather Hunter for “Toot Toot Hey Beep Beep”.
THE X – He used this name on the inside cover of the Ultramagnetic MC’s Four Horsemen LP.
RHYTHM X – He first used this alias in the track "Funk Radio" from Ultramagnetic MC’s Funk Your Head Up LP.
X-CALIBER – He first used this alias in the track "Funk Radio" from Ultramagnetic MC’s Funk Your Head Up LP.
X-74 – He used this alias in the song "Kick a Dope Verse" by the Cenobites.
FLY RICKY THE WINE TASTER – This was an alias he used back when HipHopSite.com ran KoolKeith.com.
RICO FROM PUERTO RICO – This was an alias he used back when HipHopSite.com ran KoolKeith.com.
FUNK IGNITER PLUS – He first used this alias in the track "Funk Radio" from Ultramagnetic MC’s Funk Your Head Up LP, and he still uses this alias.
ROBBIE ANALOG – He used this alias to make fun of the RZA on the inside cover of Dr. Dooom’s LP.
SINISTER 6000 – He used this alias on Automator’s A Better Tomorrow.
CRAZY LOU – He Used this name as the guns and ammo salesman in "Weapon World" from Prince Paul’s A Prince Among Thieves.
LONNIE HENDREX – This was one of his characters in the "Livin’ Astro" video.
LIGHT BLUE COP – This was one of his characters in the "Livin’ Astro" video.
THE KID IN THE COMMERCIAL – This was one of his characters in the Livin’ Astro video.
JOE KINGPIN – He used this alias in the track "Still The Best" from the Sex Style LP.
BLACK LINEN – He used this alias in the track "Silk Suit, Black Linen" from the Masters of Illusion LP. Motion Man was Silk Suit.
ELVIN PRESLEY – He gave away cards at concerts. The cards had a picture of him with the name Elvin Presley.
DELI BOY – He was called Deli Boy in the comedy/porn “Sex For Life Too”.
SK8 JOHNSON – He used this alias in the Bootleg Skater videos.
PLATNINUM RICH – One the Diesel Truckers, along with The Funky Redneck.
EXOTRON GEIGER COUNTER ONE PLUS MEGOTRON – He used this alias on Marley Marl In Control in 1989. He also used a longer version. He also used this alias in Ultramagnetic MC’s track "Traveling At The Speed Of Thought."
ACTIVITY – This was his name when he was with the NYC Breakers
EXXON – He gave away cards at concerts. The cards had a picture of him with the name Exxon.
CAPTAIN KOOL – This was an alias he was supposed to use according to Liveonerecords.com.
CAPTAIN BLACK – This was an alias he was supposed to use according to Liveonerecords.com.
EXOTRON GEIGER COUNTER ONE GAMA PLUS SEQUENCER – He used this alias on Marley Marl In Control in 1989. He also used a shorter version.
ROBERT PERRY – He used this alias for the track Robert Perry from his Lost Masters LP.
JOHN CLAYBORNE COUSIN OF JIMMY HICKS – He used this alias on the Clayborne Family LP with Marc Live and Jacky Jasper.
MR. NOGATCO – Released an album under this name with Izreal.
TASHAN DORRSETT – Supposed to release an album under this name with DJ Junkaz Lou.
NAQUAN aka UNDERWEAR PISSY - Alias on the NEW Ultramagnetic MC's album, The Best Kept Secret.

In fact, he has so many alter egos, he's actually had rapper beef with himself. Dr. Dooom killed off Dr. Octagon at the start of First Come, First Served. Black Elvis then called out Dr. Dooom when his album was released.

If you haven't noticed by now, this is a blog that appreciates prolificness in an artist. I realize I should care more about quality than quantity, but sometimes I don't. I respect people who know how to produce, and nobody produces more than Kool Keith. In addition to releasing 17 albums and mixtapes between 1996 and now, he's also collaborated on projects like The Diesel Tuckers and The Analog Brothers, working as part of 12 different collaborative projects since 1993. He also keeps popping up as a guest on other people's songs.

This is the video for "Livin' Astro" off the Black Elvis album. Black Elvis was my least favourite Kool Keith album for a long time, but it's managed to grow on me. This video kicks fairly major ass, and more to the point, it sort of embodies everything Kool Keith is about.



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